Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Review: "Locked Out Of Heaven" - Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars, everyone's favorite pop star meets crooner wannabe, is back with a brand new single that has been receiving a vast amount of praise from listeners around the world. Before we detail the ups and downs of this hit, take a listen.

Catchy, right? That's because it actually borrows off sounds and parts of successful songs from the past. This tune sounds like a Sting and Michael Jackson bastard child. The guitar parts, sounds, and vocal parts are ripped right out of any Police single, and the second part of the riff in the verse is from Michael Jackson's "Beat It." (listen below) Bruno even added his own Jackson-esque guttural "HUH" at the end of the 4-bar progression that makes him sound like he's hip thrusting a small child. Unlike Michael Jackson, however, I doubt that Mr. Mars was actually hip thrusting a child.

I really only have one true complaint about this jam. Just like any "good" music producer who's trying to incorporate the current trends (i.e. dubstep and EDM), this one decided to add some synths, "WOPS," and typical shit found in pop/dance tunes to this. While completely unnecessary, they still went ahead and added it. I personally find them distracting, because the song is actually pretty good without them. If you're going to add some cool shit to make the song more hip or whatever, add something people won't expect. Jane's Addiction did this by adding vicious, rabid pit bulls attacking your ear drums with lovable barking noises (below). BRILLIANT!

Other than the distracting synth shit going on, Bruno Mars has touched my soul and many other no-no zones with his smooth voice and well put-together song. Like every other tune that this dude sings, however, we're likely to enjoy it for two weeks and hate it for the rest of their lives because everyone gets put up with it. You heard it here first: radio DJ's around the world will hate their jobs in three weeks after this song becomes overplayed and callers begin to chime in with random death threats to "NEVER PLAY THAT GODDAMN SONG EVER AGAIN, ASSHOLE." Enjoy it while you can, ladies and germs, because you'll hate it shortly.

Official rating of "Locked Out Of Heaven": 8/10
Enjoy this while you can before you lock it out of your playlists forever1

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